Day 8 - Mastercleanse - 29th November

Julie woke up this morning and immediately made us the laxative teas and lemonades!

I thought it was over quite honestly. Although I would have been prepared to go on alone, it would have been difficult without her support. I knew we were going to be OK for the day when she told me not to forget to buy more lemons on the way home. We have now squeezed our way through 100 lemons. They recommend using the organic ones (well they would wouldn't they?) which cost £1 each over here, so perphaps the savings we made by not eating have already been used up?

I woke up feeling on top of the world. Mentally bright, alert and sharp (that doesn't really sound like me in the morning does it?). Not felt like this since I can't remember. It's the sort of healthy buzzy feeling that I guess people who are really fit get after they've just completed a really good work out. I used to feel like this after I had done a couple of hours of karate and was in the pub afterwards having a pint and a fag. You know like you feel like you could do anything now. The day is ready to begin and I can handle anything you want to shove in my direction. The breakfast table discussions were very animated and full of deep insights and meaningful messages. Wow.

About noon I had another run to the bathroom. Only the very smallest of movements now and not very pretty. As before (see yesterday). Yes, yes, yes, more, more cleaning, more, more detoxing. I want to be CLEAN.

Actually I just want it to be over.

But we survived again. Julie suffering more today than before. I think she is getting wearier. I am managing to sustain my energy levels but she is not. I do take serruptitious licks off the top of the maple syrup bottle when she is not looking but this is only to stop it dribbling down the bottle you understand. It is so messy if it does that. I think the extra syrup is helping me (?).

My weight is down to 11 and half stone (about 163 pounds in local currency). This is the weight I was when I got married 13 years ago and what I had been for about 10 years previously. Since then I had put on a stone and was hovering around the 12 and half level. So I have lost just about 14 pounds in 8 days (actually it was day 7 when I last weighed myself).

Some of the reasons for this may be that I have not had in that time: 24 slices of bacon (thin canadian stuff), 22 cups of coffee, 20 bottles of beer, 6 doughnuts, 12 bites of chocholate, 6 croissants (elevenses you know), guess about 2 packets of sweeties, 8 marshmallows and 14 slices of bread for my sandwiches at lunch time or any of the 24 square meals I might have had.

I just went up to see what happened to Julie. She was putting Julian to bed and went up with him an hour ago. Julie was asleep and Julian was cuddled up to her reading a book. I woke her up but she said she was feeling pretty awful and needed to go to bed. This was at 9:00pm. I really think she won't make it through tomorrow. I will probably end tomorrow night too as we have weekend dining engagements that I would like to enjoy.


Roll on, roll on please.

Day 7 - Mastercleanse - 28th November

We both went to the bathroom today. Just a little after some griping pains. (What a great way to start a blog). We are still on our morning and evening laxative teas. I shalln't go into too much detail about what is coming out, (or shall I?) suffice to say it's like nothing I've ever seen before. After reading up about this detox , one would hope that what is finally coming out of our systems is the remnants of years of bad eating habits that has finally been renched from the intestinal wall after lingering there for years, clogging up our systems and preventing our food from being digested properly. Imagine what that might look like?

I actually only believe this to be partly true. And guess why? Not so long ago I went for an endoscopy (the one that looks up the bottom if I've got the name wrong) and let me tell you; you have never seen a better picture of health than what was up my bottom. I saw it for myself live on TV and the doctors were all cooing in admiration. A lovely clean, moist and pink colour all round. I'm not sure how far they went up (it felt like they had reached my stomach) but there was absolutely no evidence of the black stuff coming out now! I think it's the lemon juice bits with the maple syrup, congealing as it goes down. At least that sounds better to me.

Julie is suffering more than me. I think she is laggin behind with the lemonade. I manage to drink enough to keep me going but she manages only 4 or 5 a day. She is feeling very tired and wiped out today and she has tons of things to do so it's making her quite miserable. Her most difficult time is afternoon and evening. Both of us a good in the morning. I seem to have more energy than her at the moment.

By the end of the day we were discussing whether we would switch to orange juice tomorrow as she felt she had had enough. Well see what happens.

Day 6 - Mastercleanse - 27th November

No real pains or gripes today. Just an agonising desire to eat. Every smell in the house (when the boys are eating) drives us nuts. The worst was Sammy eating guacamole corn chips in the car. I was very nearly tempted.

Niether of us have been to the bathroom for any bowel movements but weeing for Britian (or Canada). We probably only did 5 glasses of lemonade today and we have cut the cayenne completely.

I have lost 10 pounds in weight since day 1 and have pulled in my belt by 2 notches. We are certain Julie has lost weight too, as her trousers are loose but we never weighed her before we started, so we can't compare.

I am just amazed that we have both been able to keep this up. The intention is to do 10 days and then start with orange juice for 2 days. I'm not so sure that we will be able to hold out that long. We keeping teasing each other with the particular food that we would just love to have. For me a simple cheddar cheese sandwich would do the trick. The when we dropped Sammy off at his mates house tonight for a sleep over, they said they were all going for a chinese. Now I can't get sweet and sour out of my mind.

Out tongues have gone from horribly coated with green and white stuff to a lovely fresh pink clean colour which they are now. My itritating itchy head which I have had for years has completely gone. Julie thinks I am partially wheat intollerant and my head problem flares us when I eat cereals in the morning or do doughnuts and lots of bread. This could well be the problem. But how do you fix it? I just love my bread (french, ciabatta whatever). How could I survive without. It's all will power and overcoming your desires I suppose. Just like what we are doing now.

Day 5 - Mastercleanse - 26th November

Well we both survived to day as well. No real problems. The cayenne pepper is being left out of most of our drinks now. We believe it is added to "keep you warm". Seems a litte strange to me. But as we progress (and we were warned about this) your sense of taste and smell become far more sensitive. So the taste of the cayenne is now too much to stomach.

Julie and I both went to the bathroom but passed very little. The laxative teas were continuing to work by giving us the odd gripes and scares which passed over time.

I had few headaches today and they were not of great significance. The big thing today was the bad taste in my mouth and my acute bad breath. Now I suffer from bad breath anyway. If I don't eat every 2 hours my stomach starts to ferment and cause bad breath. This had disappeared over the last 4 days but came back today. I have no idea why.

Just can't imagine how we are still alive after 5 days with no food. But in actual fact the physical sensations are less of a problem than you would think. Julie has no desire to eat chocholate and I have no desire for a doughnut or beer. We could both murder a vegetarian shepherds pie though.

Day 4 - Mastercleanse - 25th November

This had been a "driving us mad" day today. Watching the boys eat and preparing their food, really was excuciating in the extreme.

We have done all our lemonades today and the morning and evening laxative (senna) teas. Julie did admit that she stole 3 grapes when she went to the MOLO (Mothers Of Little Ones) event this morning. But I don't think it will be a problem from the detox point of view.

When we come off this diet we are supposed to drink only orange juice for 2 days and then progress onto thin soups. Proper food would be 2 or 3 days after that. Apparently you need to give your body a chance to recover and rebuild it's ability to digest.

Julie had 2 major visits to the bathroom today and I completed my second day with no movements at all. Perhaps I should go for the salt water drink tomorrow.

We are feeling hungry several times a day but it comes and goes quickly. I only had one headache today. Julie says she feels OK but is really missing eating.

Day 3 - Mastercleanse - 24 November

We both slept well last night and woke up in good condition. Quite invigorated in fact.

During the day we both had a far greater interest in food that we have suffered before. It's just amazing how often you think about food. I am sure it's far more often that we are supposed to be thinking about sex. When you drive around, there are so many temptations over here. The coffee and doughnuts are absolutely out of this world. It is so tempting. It's also incredible to see how much outdoor advertising is food oriented and how many restaurants and food shops there are beckoning.

I had less of the headaches today, although the one that hit me for 45 minutes at 5:00pm was the worst of the lot. Julie took the salt water "wash out" as well today. A very large glass of water with 2 teaspoons of salt. It resulted in 6 visits to the bathroom, some of them at top speed. She also had some stomach cramps, not surprisingly. That type of visit to the bathroom eluded me for the day.

We are relieved that it has not been worse than it is so far. Now I just have to get my mind around that salt water thing!

Day 2 - Mastercleanse - 23rd November

I slept really well last night. Perhaps the best night since I have been in Canada and woke up feeling pretty refreshed. Julie woke at 4:00 am and could not get back to sleep, so she was not too impressed. Neither of us suffered any effects from the laxative tea. So far, so good.

During the day we both deteriorated physically. I started to get headaches on and off, getting stronger as the day progressed. Julie felt very wiped out and very stiff in her joints. She even at one point mentioned the "give up" words. She then went to a school parents evening tonight and came back feeling much better. My headaches tonight have subsided too but I have felt quite hungry.

Both of us finally felt the effects of the laxative tea this afternoon but it wasn't too bad. We have both done our 6 cups of lemonade (not the fizzy stuff). I have also had a cup of camomile and 2 cups of laxative tea. That was it. We both were looking at the boys foods tonight. I really wanted to have some.

Later ....

Well we have survived the first day. We have both had 6 glasses of the lemon drink (2 tblspoons lemon juice, 2 tblspoons maple syrup and a dash of cayenne pepper). It is quite nice if you have it warm.

We shall be having our 3rd cup of laxative tea before we go to bed. Neither of us have suffered any effects of the tea yet.

We have had slight pangs of hunger and I have had several minor headaches over the day.

Julie had to cook the boys supper and that was the hardest part of the day for her. Looking at the food and not eating it.

I had to remind myself about 20 times that I was on this thing. You just can't believe how many times you think about food when you don't have it. Mostly out of habit I guess. Elevenses was really difficult to miss for me.

Day 1 - Mastercleanse - November 22nd

We actually started last night having eaten our last meal, we both took a laxative tea. On the packet it states that it will start to work in 6 to 12 hours, so we were wondering if were going to start having "problems" in the middle of the night.

As it turns out nothing changed. We both woke at the usual time this morning, with no adverse side effects. Julie prepared our first cups of lemonade and we drank them with surprise. They were actually very tasty, as long as you don't put in too much cayenne pepper. The laxative tea, of which we had another cup this morning, also tasted good.

We got through to lunch time with no adverse effects. Neither of us suffering from the effects of having 2 lots of laxative tea. We had previously read that by now we should not travel too far from a bathroom. No problem for us!